07 November 2014

here's to...

do you ever have these grand plans and then life throws you a curveball?

whether it be with a race, friends, jobs, or relationships, we've all been there.

i definitely have been there for all of the above.

some hurt worse than others and all force you to re-evaluate and figure out where you went wrong and how you can move forward.

with an injury you rest and review your training.

with a busted race you review your training, diet, and your head space.

with friends you see if you are too much of a taker and not enough of a giver. or if maybe it wasn't even your fault and that you simply grew apart.

with jobs you look and see if it's something you're truly happy doing or if it is just a paycheck.

with relationships you run through all the good and the bad times. you try and remember the good and hold onto those.

curveballs force you to look around and take an assessment of what you have in life, what you need in life, and what you want in life.

i had a hell of a curveball thrown at me this week. to say this hasn't been a great week would be a grave understatement. but i'm still here and i'm still breathing and doing.

the most important is that i have something to look forward too. something bigger than me. something that will ultimately help me become the person that i know i can be and the person i more importantly want to be.

sunday i head to guatemala. to be more than myself. to get out of my head space. to do something selfish and unselfish all at the same time.

here is looking forward and not backward. to moving up and not down. to becoming instead of staying the same. to be instead of to wish.

08 October 2014

starting over.

last night marked the beginning of the arduous process of getting back in running shape.

atlanta you are a cruel, cruel city to start back running in.

if there is one hill there are a hundred and i am fairly positive they are all straight up. with zero downhills.

but i'm not here to complain because i accomplished 4 miles. it wasn't pretty and i had to walk, but i did it and i am proud of myself for that.

while i was busy trying not to die, atlanta did offer a pretty kick ass sunset that i don't have a picture of because i fail at blogging. but how about this pretty sunset.

destin you always win. i miss the saltwater.

anyways. back to this whole starting over game. it's a recurring theme in my life for the past six months or so and i am ready to stop starting over and begin the process of just building upon what i've already got. starting over is really hard and arduous, so why not keep forward progress building.

i say all of these things right before i am going to Guatemala for a month where running will most likely be on the back burner. but that is okay.

i want to start living my life by building upon my experiences and not crumbling at the first sign of defeat or failure. if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. and at the very least you learned something that will be profoundly useful.

and you can't fail if you don't try. and who knows it may work.

so here's to new beginnings part 90 million it seems.

06 October 2014

growing up.

you know what is tough?

packing up the last ten years of your life.

for the last ten years of my life i have lived in the state of georgia.

in that amount of time one can accumulate a lot of things, people, memories, and attachments.

it's strange to wrap my head around the idea of packing up my life and moving it to a new place.

a new place that isn't new at all. moving home isn't exactly a new place, but i haven't lived at home since i was 17. i guess it technically is a new place.

home and i have changed a lot in ten years. and i am hoping this is a good chance to start over.

starting over isn't easy, but sometimes it's necessary.

28 September 2014

sink or swim.

it's been precisely two months since i have graced this little place with my presence.

here is what i have been doing for those two months.

1. not running.

blasphemy i know. i've been walking with the rooms, but i just haven't felt the need to be running. it makes me sad, because i miss it. which i guess would be reason enough to get my butt moving and out the door.

there are a million different excuses - reasons, if you will - as to why i stopped. the biggest being i was/am tired all the time. which if i thought about it reasonably would mean it was high time to incorporate running back into the regime. but alas, the shoes sit unworn. except for that glorious week at the beach. i wore them then AND i kicked it old school.

2. wearing the same nail polish for seven days in a row.

i am someone who is well renowned for wearing nail polish for about 48 hours before i chip it and then need to get it off. and like right this instance get it off. but i put on nail polish last sunday and i am proud to say that not only did it stay put and not chip until today, i didn't even try to pick it off until today. #winning

p.s. it's that sinful colors brand. who knew the cheaper the polish the longer it would last on my phalanges?

3. rocking fake tattoos.

because why not.

also because i have a huge girl crush on the lovely lady over at goldfish kiss and she collaborated with flash tattoos. when i saw them i knew i must have them. they last about 4 days before they start to fade. or if you are me you wear them for about a month before you actually take them off. 

do yourself a favor and check them out. you won't regret it.

4. making a big decision.

after spending the last ten years in georgia,YIKES. 10. that's a big number, i have made the life altering decision to move home. my brother and sister-in-law just had a little tiny and i miss family sundays. i'm not ashamed to say it. i am homesick. my lease is up, my job is, well, stagnant, and if there is ever a time to up and alter your whole life, it's less than a month after your 28th birthday.

so here's to 28. i hope it's a good one. i'm going to make it a good one. being home is going to afford me a lot of opportunities and the chance to decide where my next step is. hopefully ::cough cough:: phoenix.

i miss my babes.
5. making an even bigger decision.

with the decision to move home i have the amazing opportunity to go to guatemala for a month and volunteer. volunteering is something that has always been on my mind as something important and life altering, but like everything else, there are always excuses. so i decided that being able to move home means that now is the time. sink or swim. and i've decided to stop treading water and actually start swimming.

hopefully all these things mean good things and times to come and i am confident in the decisions that i have made. it's time to stop talking and start acting.

28 July 2014

Moonlight Miles 5K

small town races are quite possible the greatest things in the entire running world.

moonlight miles is the epitome of small town race.

partly because of this:

we aren't looking at the time folks, because hi, slow, but the numbers that say 20 and OH WAIT DOES THAT SAY NUMBER ONE FEMALE....oh it sure does

partly because they hand out glow sticks and do pre race yoga:

and then you take PRETTY pictures like this:
or your roommate bites you...
 partly because when you have the honor of winning first place female you get a sweet prize:
also, i would like to note two things:

1. the male winner beat me by a solid 9 minutes. almost ten.

2. the lovely girl who came up to me at the end and so rudely asked how old i was because she knew there was no way i was 18. hi thanks macon...keep it classy.

partly because the most fun part about this race is that everyone is so friendly, it's at night (so no one can really see your ugly face or how slow you're going), and there is beer. and if you know anything about me: i like beer.

mostly because one of my prizes was gift certificate to the bar that if you wore your bib you got half off your beer. which was already absurdly underpriced and so you do like me and buy all your friend's beer, and still aren't even remotely near the total and you tell the bartender to just keep whatever is leftover, because #FirstLady.

oh, did i not mention? when you are the first female runner on the course, everyone calls you First Lady, and it's AWESOME.

until next time macon, #keepitclassy.

also if you are ever in macon, never eat Kudzu Catering <-- they are dillholes and need to be punished. trust me, i am an expert.

06 May 2014

starting over.

starting over is hard.

no matter how much you tell yourself it's for the best, starting over sucks.

easter weekend i decided it was time to get back on the running horse. after a third failed marathon and a marathon injury, i was a little hesitant.

after living the off time in leggings i knew that my fitness was going to be seriously lacking. taking two months off of anything is going to lead to a rough starting over period.

but i tied on my shiny new kicks and i walked out the door to be greeted by some serious humidity (thanks louisiana) and i ran around the block. i timed it on my watch but i didn't gps track it. so i have no idea how far it is. i just know that 12.5 minutes later i was back where i started and thought i was dying.
the next day i took to that same block, added a street, and i went around it twice. in 28 minutes and change i was back where i started. i felt better than the day before, but it wasn't pretty. oh man it wasn't pretty.

and then i started running at home again. and sometimes i wear things as encouragement to myself to remember what i am capable of and what i have accomplished and absolutely have the ability to accomplish again.
ragnar for the win.

then i signed up for a race. because there is no wake up call quite like the you paid for this, so now what?

it was just a 5k and andrew signed up with me and bailed last minute, but i still got my butt out of bed and i went and ran my first race post injury. so it was an automatic PR. ahhh instant gratification.
on top of starting over in my running career, i've also made a move and am working in an office building. i am saddened to say that the wood company is now debunked. i still work in the mechanic shop, but i am in an office three days a week. which means i have to wear adult clothes. i am not a fan of the work clothes (pants are hard), but i do enjoy the work. the days go by fast, but sometimes my roommate and i send each other gems of text messages and she gets things like this:
that hair is approximately 3 days old with 3 days worth of sweat and outside in it. mhmm. all girls catholic school really ruined my take on hygiene.

when you work in an office, you don't have to hoard your favorite pens like some kind of pen apocolypse is going to happen because there are pens EVERYWHERE. or in my case, i am building an army. out of bulldog clips. ITS FINE.
i have so many more than that too. that was like day three when i didn't really have anything to do and i found so many and tried to organize them....

change is hard, but i also remember that i am capable of doing hard things and with hard things comes progress and accomplishments and also the bright and shining ray that going surfing or to the beach may be somewhat affordable. because the beach is always the end game. ALWAYS.

24 March 2014

i did something.

this weekend was filled with fun and new things to me.

mom came in town friday and we got the weekend festivities started off right!
making friends with our favorite waitress.

then saturday moms and i went to the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. i have never been and this weekend the weather was just beautiful for it. and they have an orchid house. sign me up.

i will gladly take any of those orchids. or tulips. or dandelions. i love springtime.

also on saturday i decided to do something. something that is basic runner blasphemy. i decided to cheat on my shoes of choice. my reasoning being that i need a durable shoe that doesn't break my budget. and since my budget is in the realm of zero dollars, mizunos are getting quite expensive. i love them and they will always be my first true love, but i decide to change it up.

here are my brand new shiny brooks.
i can't wait to actually get some road time on them and see how they are. but for almost less than over half the price of mizunos i hope they work out (i hope that sentence makes sense...)

i have heard great things about them from fellow runner friends and was intrigued by the price point and the quality of the shoe. also DSW has them on sale. Brooks Cadence please be nice to me so that i can continue to purchase you...and or go and purchase all of you from DSW. fingers crossed

14 March 2014

friday. Friday. FRIDAY. FRIIIIIDAY.

it's friday and i have cried twice.

you know those days that just start off on the wrong foot and keep getting wronger? well that was today.

it all started innocently enough. last night i drove up to the shop as i was supposed to make a couple of deliveries for the now defunct wood company. well i got here and there was no heat. because the propane tank was empty. the one i just had filled in october and we have been here a total of maybe 10 times since then. fail. epic fail.

i found all the blankets i could. if you think i am joking i am not. i had two down comforters, a target blanket, a blanket my mom made, and a quilt. ALL the blankets.

i woke up this lovely friday morning and it was 48 degrees in the apartment. weeeeee freezing.

i tried to get everything done and i failed. failed miserably. and then i cried. ugly ugly girl cried. big ole crocodile tears.
similar. maybe not quite so ugly.

darwin talked me off my ledge and he was right, at the end of the day it's not worth getting hurt if i can't get everything done. the wood company will still be here monday and i can reassess then to get everything accomplished. risking driving a truck and trailer when i am upset isn't a good idea and it isn't safe. so i cancelled today.

i cancelled an entire day.

i got everything prepped, that i could, for delivery next week.

i did some laundry.

i took apart this beautiful bookshelf so that i can put it at my house.
i am going to make quinoa fried rice for dinner. and hopefully it will look like this:
i've watched Fast and Furious no less than 4 times in under 24 hours. and am currently going for a record in how many times i can watch it.

i also scored Oiselle distance shorts for $20 with shipping. #winning

all in all cancelling this friday hasn't been so terrible. once i got the tears subsided i calmed down considerably.

i can be really hard on myself and i then in turn set unrealistic expectations. i am slowly learning that is a terrible way to live my life (--->SLOW LEARNER<---). i am taking the rest of the day to find the calm and hopefully keep some of it.

12 March 2014

all the things pt. 2

things i currently love:
this print i ordered from etsy:
oiselle and their new spring line.

patio weather.
 this fun picture i found on tumblr to help get my gallery wall going.

things i currently miss:
this sweet face.
 this guy.
lacing up these.

things i currently dislike:
i am not even sure if i dislike it; i think i may love it .
not running.
but with the likes outnumbering the dislikes i would say we are doing mighty fine.

11 March 2014

springtime is in the air

what to do when you are on a running hiatus.

firstly try not to eat all the foods. i fail at this some days. because foods are delicious and i love them. and also because i am poor.

lately when i go to the grocery store (the bane of my existence) i just buy a lot of fruit and veggies. oh and yogurt. the amount of yogurt in my fridge is comical. i attempt the outside rule. only buy things that are on the outer edges of the grocery store. sometimes i fail and sometimes i win. although is it really failing when you get ice cream for a dollar?

secondly i am still working out. no running though. i am trying to let my ankle heal thoroughly before i really try that out. this weekend is supposed to be another pretty weekend so i am going to maybe tentatively mark a day to go for a run.

this working out thing. two workouts that i like. one is easy and i do it twice a day most days.

50 squats
50 sumo squats
50 crunches
10 v crunches
10 pushups if i am feeling crazy 

i split it up so that i am not doing 50 of anything at one time because woof. i also add 10 seconds of baby pulses (that's what i call it) at then end of each set.

this is a v cruch:
 i do them a little differently, but effectively the same move.

this is what i feel like afterwards:

the second work out is one that i found from GoldfishKiss. if you ever want to read a blog about someone who does some really amazing things and someone that if i could be friends with her and or have her life i wouldn't bat an eye and would absolutely jump at the chance, go read hers. anyways...

she posted this workout that she found on the pinterest. the deck of cards workout. basically you assign each suit a specific move. then you correspond the number of the card for that suit to the number of what you do. face cards are ten and the ace is eleven.

depending on what you pick i sometimes add 10 for it to be a little more affective. like squats because those are easy. burpees however, nope i will gladly take the card value.

you will be sweaty and gross, but feel super accomplished.

thirdly the sunshine.

it's becoming springtime around these parts and who can say no to being outside? not me. i love the sun. anyway i can get it. preferably with a body of water around, but i'll take spring weather any time because the winter sucks.

06 March 2014

politcally incorrect and very unkosher.

if this is what adulthood looks like then i don't want to be a part of it. attttallll
let me preface all of that with for the past two or three months i have had what i call african baby tummy (AfBT). which is terribly politically incorrect, insensitive and not kosher. but i don't have a better way to describe it. i am not trying to take anything away from those poor little babies or say that my first world problem relates to them in anyway shape or form.

my stomach seems to always be in a constant state of unrest. and some weeks it's manageable and some weeks it's AfBT status.  it feels like there is constant pressure in my stomach and well if your a runner then you know when you can't go, the world is ending.

pooping was covered extensively during Ragnar and i can vouch that not being able to go is sunshine and roses the most nerve wracking thing while running. i would rate it higher than the i think i am under trained for this race, i don't have enough fuel or the person smells like homeless liquor bottles have been inhabiting their pores.

as a runner you find a steady balance of diet and you don't stray. especially not during race week.

about two months ago my stomach decided it just didn't want to function at full capacity or ya know at all. so that was fun. i chalked it up to a bad weekend of poor food choices. i cleaned up my act and went back to the basics and tried for the most part to maintain a balance diet.

it seemed to work for a few weeks and then it would just not work. christmas was miserable. i spent a lot of time in bed laying on my left side because every other position wasn't working.

about two weeks ago i noticed that my stomach hurt worse after i ate. like clockwork. and it was about as fun as it sounds. and then i had the i feel like there are razor blades in my stomach (or as my phone autocorrected: razor ladies - got to watch out for them...)

which in actuality should have been a clue to me to maybe make a doctor's appointment with my newly acquire health insurance plan. but alas, i did not. i just ate bland foods. well that didn't work and enough bullying from darwin i finally called the doctor and went to see someone about the AfBT.

with much trepidation and some serious nerves i put my big girl pants on i went to my doctor's appoint. and thus enter the picture from the beginning. she told me that my bowels sounded good. which made me giggle, because all i could think is a gurgling noise and the noise your tummy makes when you are hungry. also, i am 6 so it was really funny.

then i got a tetanus because ya know #yolo (<-- i am sorry...or am i). which jesus pete my arm feels like i got ninja chopped.

AND then i got bloodwork done. just to rule out anything. i got the results back for those yesterday and because i am a doctor who knows what the hell i am talking about, my levels were all just fine and dandy. 

so bottom line. my diet is fine. my veggie and fruit intake is fine. i clearly get enough calcium. i exercise.

which leads to taking miralax like i am 112. basically i am a six year old trapped in a 27 year old body with the stomach of a 112 year old. weeeeeeeeee

if i am not better in a week, i get to go to a gi doctor. which bum bum bum i don't want to do.

welcome to my life.

**also, all i can think of this the rugrats episode where chuckie swallows a watermelon seed and angelica tell him a watermelon is going to grow in his tummy and then tommy and the gang go inside chuckie's tummy.