springtime is in the air

what to do when you are on a running hiatus.

firstly try not to eat all the foods. i fail at this some days. because foods are delicious and i love them. and also because i am poor.

lately when i go to the grocery store (the bane of my existence) i just buy a lot of fruit and veggies. oh and yogurt. the amount of yogurt in my fridge is comical. i attempt the outside rule. only buy things that are on the outer edges of the grocery store. sometimes i fail and sometimes i win. although is it really failing when you get ice cream for a dollar?

secondly i am still working out. no running though. i am trying to let my ankle heal thoroughly before i really try that out. this weekend is supposed to be another pretty weekend so i am going to maybe tentatively mark a day to go for a run.

this working out thing. two workouts that i like. one is easy and i do it twice a day most days.

50 squats
50 sumo squats
50 crunches
10 v crunches
10 pushups if i am feeling crazy 

i split it up so that i am not doing 50 of anything at one time because woof. i also add 10 seconds of baby pulses (that's what i call it) at then end of each set.

this is a v cruch:

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 i do them a little differently, but effectively the same move.

this is what i feel like afterwards:

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the second work out is one that i found from GoldfishKiss. if you ever want to read a blog about someone who does some really amazing things and someone that if i could be friends with her and or have her life i wouldn't bat an eye and would absolutely jump at the chance, go read hers. anyways...

she posted this workout that she found on the pinterest. the deck of cards workout. basically you assign each suit a specific move. then you correspond the number of the card for that suit to the number of what you do. face cards are ten and the ace is eleven.

depending on what you pick i sometimes add 10 for it to be a little more affective. like squats because those are easy. burpees however, nope i will gladly take the card value.

you will be sweaty and gross, but feel super accomplished.

thirdly the sunshine.

it's becoming springtime around these parts and who can say no to being outside? not me. i love the sun. anyway i can get it. preferably with a body of water around, but i'll take spring weather any time because the winter sucks.

yup

politcally incorrect and very unkosher.

if this is what adulthood looks like then i don't want to be a part of it. attttallll

let me preface all of that with for the past two or three months i have had what i call african baby tummy (AfBT). which is terribly politically incorrect, insensitive and not kosher. but i don't have a better way to describe it. i am not trying to take anything away from those poor little babies or say that my first world problem relates to them in anyway shape or form.

my stomach seems to always be in a constant state of unrest. and some weeks it's manageable and some weeks it's AfBT status.  it feels like there is constant pressure in my stomach and well if your a runner then you know when you can't go, the world is ending.

pooping was covered extensively during Ragnar and i can vouch that not being able to go is sunshine and roses the most nerve wracking thing while running. i would rate it higher than the i think i am under trained for this race, i don't have enough fuel or the person smells like homeless liquor bottles have been inhabiting their pores.

as a runner you find a steady balance of diet and you don't stray. especially not during race week.

about two months ago my stomach decided it just didn't want to function at full capacity or ya know at all. so that was fun. i chalked it up to a bad weekend of poor food choices. i cleaned up my act and went back to the basics and tried for the most part to maintain a balance diet.

it seemed to work for a few weeks and then it would just not work. christmas was miserable. i spent a lot of time in bed laying on my left side because every other position wasn't working.

about two weeks ago i noticed that my stomach hurt worse after i ate. like clockwork. and it was about as fun as it sounds. and then i had the i feel like there are razor blades in my stomach (or as my phone autocorrected: razor ladies - got to watch out for them...)

which in actuality should have been a clue to me to maybe make a doctor's appointment with my newly acquire health insurance plan. but alas, i did not. i just ate bland foods. well that didn't work and enough bullying from darwin i finally called the doctor and went to see someone about the AfBT.

with much trepidation and some serious nerves i put my big girl pants on i went to my doctor's appoint. and thus enter the picture from the beginning. she told me that my bowels sounded good. which made me giggle, because all i could think is a gurgling noise and the noise your tummy makes when you are hungry. also, i am 6 so it was really funny.

then i got a tetanus because ya know #yolo (<-- i am sorry...or am i). which jesus pete my arm feels like i got ninja chopped.

AND then i got bloodwork done. just to rule out anything. i got the results back for those yesterday and because i am a doctor who knows what the hell i am talking about, my levels were all just fine and dandy. 

so bottom line. my diet is fine. my veggie and fruit intake is fine. i clearly get enough calcium. i exercise.

which leads to taking miralax like i am 112. basically i am a six year old trapped in a 27 year old body with the stomach of a 112 year old. weeeeeeeeee

if i am not better in a week, i get to go to a gi doctor. which bum bum bum i don't want to do.

welcome to my life.

**also, all i can think of this the rugrats episode where chuckie swallows a watermelon seed and angelica tell him a watermelon is going to grow in his tummy and then tommy and the gang go inside chuckie's tummy.

sweet d

it has come to my attention that i have a resemblance to Sweet D from It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

in mannerism, features, and voice.

i am absolutely thrilled for the comparison. because normally i just get this one.

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yep. which to be perfectly honest isn't all that far off. except for the amount of pink. i don't wear all that much pink, unless it's swimsuits and summertime.

without further ado, reasons i am like sweet d:

we favor this dance move

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we drink beer like champions:

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sometimes this happens:

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this game:

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 i make this face a lot:

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we both don't do well with public speaking:

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this has been known to happen to me:

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you shouldn't hold me responsible for what i say or do:

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 we both get told we resemble birds:

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so there you have it...reasons why sweet d and i are similar and should be best friends.

the race that should have been...

now that i have taken a week to not think about running or anything to do with the marathon, i have come to terms with it.

it should have been a good race. for all intents and purposes i was trained, fueled and ready to take the IMS Arizona Marathon head on.

two weeks before the race my ankle was super tight. like it was spring loaded. and it did not feel great. so i elevated it and did a whole lot of nothing for two straight weeks.

alright, alright. i ran 5 miles the thursday before the race to make sure i could actually still run.

low and behold my legs understood what we were doing and my foot didn't feel like it was going going to detach from my ankle and leave me crippled. so a tentative thumbs up for race day.

and then race day came.

with perfect morning weather of 45 and not so perfect afternoon weather of 71 it was time to run this race.

i started off with the 4 hour pace group and felt strong for the first 15 miles. i had dropped back from the 4 hour pace group, but was still well ahead of the 4:15 group, and i had been fueling and liquiding properly. i felt good.

and then mile 15 hit. and my right foot felt like maybe someone who was the size of an elephant carrying a rhino while tap dancing with a hippo was river dancing on the outside of my right foot. so that was fun. you're welcome for that mental image.

i had plans to meet darwin at the 23 mile mark about 3.5 or so hours in and he was going to run the last 3 with me.

hour 3 i was at mile marker 18.

without my phone.

sooo yea. there was a tracker that he could watch that i came to find out didn't actually do anything useful.

about 1.5 later i got to mile 23-24 and saw darwin running towards me. oh hi there.

he nicely walked the last 4 miles with me while i contemplated actually sobbing uncontrollably.

an hour later i was done with marathon number 3. and i couldn't be more grateful for the support that i had.

now i am taking some time off and letting my foot heal.

how to taper for two weeks...

well.

 after an eventful frantic rescheduling of flights, i made it to arizona late tuesday night. my original flight was scheduled to leave out of atlanta wednesday morning. monday night i get a call from delta that my flight had been cancelled and rescheduled to thursday.

son of a bitch.

i dropped darwin off at the airport tuesday morning and raced home to figure out if i could leave tuesday instead of thursday when the ice was supposed to be the worst.

luckily, i found a flight that left tuesday and 10 hours of travel later i was in arizona. and exhausted.

but now that race day is 2.5 days away, and i have taken a two week sabbatical from running to see if could keep my ankle attached to the rest of my leg, i am going to let you in on a little secret:

tapering is boring.....

in light of that breaking news, here is what i have been doing to keep entertained.

i took some online quizzes. those entertained me for about 20 minutes.

i think i have found quite possible every single split end in my hair. tried this hair repair serum:

i like it. i don't know if it is actually doing anything, but for $6 it's hard to pass up. and it doesn't leave your hair greasy which is nice. because ain't nobody got time for greasy hair.

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 we had the snowjam in atlanta. so there were two days that i didn't move from my bed, take off my leggings, or eat anything besides pizza and drink beer. those were nice.

i watched the superbowl on my ipad, because cable is for losers. or because i am poor. and because i was at the shop and we don't have cable.

 watched a sunset at the JFK airport while drinking beer and eating pizza.

that beer cost  more than my pizza

saw so many service dogs. and sat by this little creature.

 read a lot of books. A LOT. and found a lot of typos.

 finally made it to arizona and was reunited with my loves.  mainly this one.

oh hi...

 took the monster on a walkaroo.

hello 75 and sunshine. every.single.day. i could seriously get used to this. it's amazing.

and then today i broke the taper. i couldn't handle it anymore. my butt agreed. it was time to get out there and run some easy miles. 5 miles with fuzzyfatass. glorious! please ignore the leftover mascara look. i am really trying to make it a trend. #noshame #blondehairdontcare

 that is how you spend two weeks tapering. until you fail at tapering.

it's a secret...

i bought this the other day....

it's a secret.

and i can't wait...

Mayan Village Resort

tapering...

tapering is a necessity before races.

you get to be a lazy bum for a little while and get fully rested before race day.

especially when you see this:

11. ELEVEN. one-one.

normally i wouldn't really start tapering until next week, but my run saturday left my right achilles feeling like a spring that had been loaded and was waiting to explode.

i've been pitifully limping around my house, learning that driving in boots with a bum ankle is difficult, and tackling the stairs with less grace than a rhino in a tutu.

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that one has considerably more grace than i do.

with an 8 mile run scheduled for this upcoming saturday, i've decided that maybe i should just start my taper early and perhaps learn from my past mistakes. shocking. i know.

race day should be interesting,  but i did find this. and I LIKE IT.

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net downhill for nearly the entire race.

and this...the weather average is 74 for the high and 40 for the low. i'll take it.

the key to the taper is to not go stir crazy. it's tempting to get out there and just go run for days, because who doesn't like that, but don't do it.

if you must go run, keep it easy and light. also wear all the compression. it does wonders.

carbo load (or don't, i'm not sure what the authorities ruling is on this today), don't eat anything crazy, stay away from high fiber foods, drink some beer (i throw that into the carbo loading rule), and most importantly trust your training.

well maybe more importantly, decide what you are going to wear. since i am traveling for this marathon, i have to be sure and pack a couple of options, because, well i am a girl and we change our minds about ever 12 seconds.