2 months ago today.

today marks two months since i arrived home from Guatemala and three months since i left for Guatemala.

when i landed in Houston i almost kissed the ground. almost. i did find the biggest piece of pizza i could along with a glass of tap water. it's amazing how not having access to clean water really puts a damper on your water intake. and because apparently i am a glutton for punishment i ate some cheetos. i really wanted to test the limits of my already shaky stomach and see if i could possibly actually poop my pants.

what's the first thing i did when i arrive back in Memphis you ask? that would be to eat more processed cheese and then top it off with chinese food. because #yolo

if you want to follow along with my Guatemalan adventures check out my travel blog. that's where you will find my updates that are slowly but surely coming along.

while i was in guatemala one of my very best friends asked me to run her very first half marathon with her. and me being the selfless person that i am, said yes. and then set out on the mission to recruit as many people as possible for this. i encourage all of you to come run the Rock 'N Roll in Nashville with my friends and i. Nashville is always a good time and i've heard great things about this race. (aside from the hills).

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 training has started. albeit slowly because holy cold batman, but i am excited to have my first race of 2015 on the calendar. and hopefully i can get another in before Nashville.

speaking of training, since i am unemployed i have zero excuses to get out the door, which means that i should probably get on that for today...

oh and i will be taking a slight interruption in training to head to the land down under....

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ahem. ahem. ahem. check out my other blog. SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION

here's to...

do you ever have these grand plans and then life throws you a curveball?

whether it be with a race, friends, jobs, or relationships, we've all been there.

i definitely have been there for all of the above.

some hurt worse than others and all force you to re-evaluate and figure out where you went wrong and how you can move forward.

with an injury you rest and review your training.

with a busted race you review your training, diet, and your head space.

with friends you see if you are too much of a taker and not enough of a giver. or if maybe it wasn't even your fault and that you simply grew apart.

with jobs you look and see if it's something you're truly happy doing or if it is just a paycheck.

with relationships you run through all the good and the bad times. you try and remember the good and hold onto those.

curveballs force you to look around and take an assessment of what you have in life, what you need in life, and what you want in life.

i had a hell of a curveball thrown at me this week. to say this hasn't been a great week would be a grave understatement. but i'm still here and i'm still breathing and doing.

the most important is that i have something to look forward too. something bigger than me. something that will ultimately help me become the person that i know i can be and the person i more importantly want to be.

sunday i head to guatemala. to be more than myself. to get out of my head space. to do something selfish and unselfish all at the same time.

here is looking forward and not backward. to moving up and not down. to becoming instead of staying the same. to be instead of to wish.

starting over.

last night marked the beginning of the arduous process of getting back in running shape.

atlanta you are a cruel, cruel city to start back running in.

if there is one hill there are a hundred and i am fairly positive they are all straight up. with zero downhills.

but i'm not here to complain because i accomplished 4 miles. it wasn't pretty and i had to walk, but i did it and i am proud of myself for that.

while i was busy trying not to die, atlanta did offer a pretty kick ass sunset that i don't have a picture of because i fail at blogging. but how about this pretty sunset.

destin you always win. i miss the saltwater.

anyways. back to this whole starting over game. it's a recurring theme in my life for the past six months or so and i am ready to stop starting over and begin the process of just building upon what i've already got. starting over is really hard and arduous, so why not keep forward progress building.

i say all of these things right before i am going to Guatemala for a month where running will most likely be on the back burner. but that is okay.

i want to start living my life by building upon my experiences and not crumbling at the first sign of defeat or failure. if it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. and at the very least you learned something that will be profoundly useful.

and you can't fail if you don't try. and who knows it may work.

so here's to new beginnings part 90 million it seems.

growing up.

you know what is tough?

packing up the last ten years of your life.

for the last ten years of my life i have lived in the state of georgia.

in that amount of time one can accumulate a lot of things, people, memories, and attachments.

it's strange to wrap my head around the idea of packing up my life and moving it to a new place.

a new place that isn't new at all. moving home isn't exactly a new place, but i haven't lived at home since i was 17. i guess it technically is a new place.

home and i have changed a lot in ten years. and i am hoping this is a good chance to start over.

starting over isn't easy, but sometimes it's necessary.

sink or swim.

it's been precisely two months since i have graced this little place with my presence.

here is what i have been doing for those two months.

1. not running.

blasphemy i know. i've been walking with the rooms, but i just haven't felt the need to be running. it makes me sad, because i miss it. which i guess would be reason enough to get my butt moving and out the door.

there are a million different excuses - reasons, if you will - as to why i stopped. the biggest being i was/am tired all the time. which if i thought about it reasonably would mean it was high time to incorporate running back into the regime. but alas, the shoes sit unworn. except for that glorious week at the beach. i wore them then AND i kicked it old school.

2. wearing the same nail polish for seven days in a row.

i am someone who is well renowned for wearing nail polish for about 48 hours before i chip it and then need to get it off. and like right this instance get it off. but i put on nail polish last sunday and i am proud to say that not only did it stay put and not chip until today, i didn't even try to pick it off until today. #winning

p.s. it's that sinful colors brand. who knew the cheaper the polish the longer it would last on my phalanges?

3. rocking fake tattoos.

because why not.

also because i have a huge girl crush on the lovely lady over at goldfish kiss and she collaborated with flash tattoos. when i saw them i knew i must have them. they last about 4 days before they start to fade. or if you are me you wear them for about a month before you actually take them off. 

do yourself a favor and check them out. you won't regret it.

4. making a big decision.

after spending the last ten years in georgia,YIKES. 10. that's a big number, i have made the life altering decision to move home. my brother and sister-in-law just had a little tiny and i miss family sundays. i'm not ashamed to say it. i am homesick. my lease is up, my job is, well, stagnant, and if there is ever a time to up and alter your whole life, it's less than a month after your 28th birthday.

so here's to 28. i hope it's a good one. i'm going to make it a good one. being home is going to afford me a lot of opportunities and the chance to decide where my next step is. hopefully ::cough cough:: phoenix.

i miss my babes.

5. making an even bigger decision.

with the decision to move home i have the amazing opportunity to go to guatemala for a month and volunteer. volunteering is something that has always been on my mind as something important and life altering, but like everything else, there are always excuses. so i decided that being able to move home means that now is the time. sink or swim. and i've decided to stop treading water and actually start swimming.


hopefully all these things mean good things and times to come and i am confident in the decisions that i have made. it's time to stop talking and start acting.

Moonlight Miles 5K

small town races are quite possible the greatest things in the entire running world.

moonlight miles is the epitome of small town race.

partly because of this:

we aren't looking at the time folks, because hi, slow, but the numbers that say 20 and OH WAIT DOES THAT SAY NUMBER ONE FEMALE....oh it sure does

partly because they hand out glow sticks and do pre race yoga:

and then you take PRETTY pictures like this:

or your roommate bites you...

 partly because when you have the honor of winning first place female you get a sweet prize:

also, i would like to note two things:

1. the male winner beat me by a solid 9 minutes. almost ten.

2. the lovely girl who came up to me at the end and so rudely asked how old i was because she knew there was no way i was 18. hi thanks macon...keep it classy.

partly because the most fun part about this race is that everyone is so friendly, it's at night (so no one can really see your ugly face or how slow you're going), and there is beer. and if you know anything about me: i like beer.

mostly because one of my prizes was gift certificate to the bar that if you wore your bib you got half off your beer. which was already absurdly underpriced and so you do like me and buy all your friend's beer, and still aren't even remotely near the total and you tell the bartender to just keep whatever is leftover, because #FirstLady.

oh, did i not mention? when you are the first female runner on the course, everyone calls you First Lady, and it's AWESOME.

until next time macon, #keepitclassy.

also if you are ever in macon, never eat Kudzu Catering <-- they are dillholes and need to be punished. trust me, i am an expert.

starting over.

starting over is hard.

no matter how much you tell yourself it's for the best, starting over sucks.

easter weekend i decided it was time to get back on the running horse. after a third failed marathon and a marathon injury, i was a little hesitant.

after living the off time in leggings i knew that my fitness was going to be seriously lacking. taking two months off of anything is going to lead to a rough starting over period.

but i tied on my shiny new kicks and i walked out the door to be greeted by some serious humidity (thanks louisiana) and i ran around the block. i timed it on my watch but i didn't gps track it. so i have no idea how far it is. i just know that 12.5 minutes later i was back where i started and thought i was dying.

the next day i took to that same block, added a street, and i went around it twice. in 28 minutes and change i was back where i started. i felt better than the day before, but it wasn't pretty. oh man it wasn't pretty.

and then i started running at home again. and sometimes i wear things as encouragement to myself to remember what i am capable of and what i have accomplished and absolutely have the ability to accomplish again.

ragnar for the win.

then i signed up for a race. because there is no wake up call quite like the you paid for this, so now what?

it was just a 5k and andrew signed up with me and bailed last minute, but i still got my butt out of bed and i went and ran my first race post injury. so it was an automatic PR. ahhh instant gratification.

on top of starting over in my running career, i've also made a move and am working in an office building. i am saddened to say that the wood company is now debunked. i still work in the mechanic shop, but i am in an office three days a week. which means i have to wear adult clothes. i am not a fan of the work clothes (pants are hard), but i do enjoy the work. the days go by fast, but sometimes my roommate and i send each other gems of text messages and she gets things like this:

that hair is approximately 3 days old with 3 days worth of sweat and outside in it. mhmm. all girls catholic school really ruined my take on hygiene.

when you work in an office, you don't have to hoard your favorite pens like some kind of pen apocolypse is going to happen because there are pens EVERYWHERE. or in my case, i am building an army. out of bulldog clips. ITS FINE.

i have so many more than that too. that was like day three when i didn't really have anything to do and i found so many and tried to organize them....

change is hard, but i also remember that i am capable of doing hard things and with hard things comes progress and accomplishments and also the bright and shining ray that going surfing or to the beach may be somewhat affordable. because the beach is always the end game. ALWAYS.